Loner

I have always known that I was a bit of a loner.
I don’t like crowds. And I don’t like getting to know people. Especially if they aren’t going to contribute anything good to what I know.
I don’t get curious about other people. I love studying them though. I’m very much content to sit outside and watch them pass by.
But interacting with them is a different subject all together.
In my work I have to work daily.
I don’t have a day off. Which makes me sometimes grumpy. I’m not complaining about the physical work. I love it. The only thing that rubs me wrong is that I have to socialize.
Every freaking day.
Customers could be such a pest.
Especially the ones that needs to converse with someone they know.
They know me. But I don’t know them.
And I don’t want to know them, that’s the problem.
Like this week, I had a customer who was sitting alone waiting for his friend to come. I was just sitting behind the counter minding my own business when he started conversing with me. I didn’t understand a word he said I just gave a well-timed nod and affirmative grunts, subconsciously counting the minutes past by. Seeing a break in the conversation, I stood up and went outside and sat there and just stared at the road for hours.
I’m a fountain of information on first meetings. But that’s it. Long duration conversation like weeks, starts taking it’s toll that I become subdued and sometimes won’t even talk and would just enjoy listening to people around me talk.
If I’m forced to socialize or stay with some other people, I need a day to myself where I need to gather my thoughts.
Like in college, where we had a block section, I had the same classmates for four years that one day everyone of them got on my nerves that I have to excuse myself early from school and took the next day off.
Just to take a break. From them.
And I was never absent before that except when I had the chicken pox.
Or it was also like the time me and Dad was forced in each others company when we were in California. He didn’t have any problems. But I did. Being in his company for weeks without a time or a space just for myself was so tiring. Less than a week I was antagonizing him.
I just want to be left alone.
And to top that we were staying at different places where I had to socialize with relatives I hadn’t seen in ages.
It was a strain on my part. I was excited to get back to the east coast where I was left to my own devices.
Or the time I have to stay in the province… and the only person I could have conversation with was Dad. Within a week, we had a shouting match.
But this work I have now, is a practice on my forbearance.
Who wouldn’t? When weekly, without a miss, you’ll have some guy who would make an hour of your time a living hell?