The Misguided Sheeps

"Huwat? You mean we we'll be going to go back that Church?!"I exclaimed at Ate Nida. "Look, I told you that your wedding will be the last time I shall be stepping on that Church. So don't push it."
"But you're already dressed." She pointed out at my attire.
I gave a disgusted sigh. "And it's a good thing I'm wearing all black. I think it would send the right message, don't you think?"
"Don't worry Ching, when you get there the mass has already ended." she assured us then left for the church with Alain as their driver.
Later Isnit, Roy and Raymund arrived. Then looking at the clock, we left at what we deemed as the perfect time from our calculations.
Nana drove us to the church where she almost run over Brother Mario's slow ass walking.
"Nana, you almost backed into him." I unnecessarily pointed out.
"Well he's stupid." she reasoned out.
"Ummm, your window is opened and he can hear you perfectly."
"I don't care. It's true." she unkindly said.
I just smiled, because I thought so too.
Then when we entered the church... Was it paranoia or I could really feel eyes boring into my back?
Everyone was looking at us. And I could also see that Pastor was winding down to the last part of his speech.
Until he saw us, that is...
I guess he took this as a chance to give us , The Lu's, a bit of Word of God for our hearing pleasure. Unfortunately, his "bit" of time was in God's time measurement, which translate eons for us humans.
When he saw us, he gave us the ultimate gesture of welcome.
He did the sermon all over again for an hour. And added some threats to our mortal soul too. And giving a little side comments on how much the church changed to us prodigals.
Wasn't that just sweet?
Then he went on about my favorite subject.
Sinning.
Watching those soap opera was the best sin so far in being a couch potato.
At least we're seating in our couch and doing nothing, than going out and killing a bunch of people. And there was a lot of plants too involved. Something as carnal thoughts being all the root of evil. Then dying when you didn't transplant it in a good and healthy soil. I heard the word "carnal" so much that
"I thought it was money. Now it's sex?" I said to my seatmate.
Odessa, Pastor's daughter, who was sitting in the pew in front of me turned her neck to look at me but changed her mind. One of the best parts I like in the mass was when we wake up in the morning, we are already sinning. I guess just by blinking my eyes open, I could already be considered sinning..
"That's bull...", I said.
Odessa's head twitched.
Wohoo. Saw that one Desa! I bet Pastor gonna hear about this later.
Then Pastor keeps relieving his near brush with death. He had a heart surgery bypass and he said that God thought of everything. Because we have this extra vein in our legs that can be used to replace the vein of the heart if needed be.
Looking at Pastor's red face, I commented on his health.
"He had just a heart surgery? Then he shouldn't be shouting like this and getting all irked about sins!" I said shaking my head.
Odessa turned.
I gave her a smile.
And saw the chances of my soul being prayed over when I die, being shot to hell.
Then in the middle of the replayed sermon, Yen came in bring two bottles of wine. Kuya Roy, Ate Nida's husband, almost swoon at the sight. He intercepted Yen and asked her about the wine.
"Dad brought it." she answered.
"Where's dad?" we asked.
"In the bar in the basement of the building." she replied.
"That lucky SOB."
"We didn't know this was a church." Yen complained.
“Well, I thought this was a church but guess I’m wrong too.” I sarcastically said to myself.

Later when I was helping washing the dishes, Brother Andy came into the kitchen and asked me what was I doing.
I replied I was washing the dishes.
But he said he meant, was that what's keeping me busy nowadays.
I looked at him and gave him a cocky grin before replying...
Sinning.