The Artillery

Rumble.
I woke up with my stomach rumbling. Bad gas? Maybe. Should stop drinking milk and grapefruit juice right after each other. After taking care of business, I decided not to go back to sleep anymore. I went down and had breakfast. Na was watching some morning drivel on the tube and Yen is about to start breakfast.
Sitting across Yen, we started talking about stuff. After eating three platefuls [my appettite is coming back with a vengeance] I went to the computer room to start the computer. Alain came down a bit later. Since we are all present, I suggested that we play mahjong.
Having three siblings has it's advantages don't you think?
So, taking each side of the square dining table, we dealt, played and cuss.
Later I noticed Ate Nida chatting on the phone. Since we are all here I thought it was Sunday. So I asked her if she still goes to church. Of course she still does. Then she asked me why. I said I thought it was Sunday and she's home. I don't want our former/her current pastor coming down on us with fire and brimstone because of her being a "backslider" during her pregnancy.
She said she'll be going this Wednesday to church.
After playing mahjong the other three decided they want to play a faster game. So we brought out a deck of cards and played Tong-its.
A little bit later, we heard the sound of a desieled engine stopping right in front of the house.
Rising up, Alain leaned over the dining sink and peeked through the front windows.
"Who is it?"
"I dunno."
"It could be the church."
We looked at the person who said that, "Nyahahahahaha... right...."
Then Alain said with an ominous voice from his place by the window "Actually, it is..."
Ate Nida hearing that, went out and greeted them by the gate.
"She shouldn't invite them in," I said ungraciously "they should call first to say they are dropping in. Like an appointment."
"I don't think she will." Ate Rose said by the phone.
Nana, who was paying up her loss, saw the figure by the windows passed by, said a muffled, "Shit. It's Pastor!"
Ate Rose put slammed down the phone. Alain sat down. Na turned her back and dropped her cards like it was venomous. And Yen ran from the table.
I was like... pastor? The Pastor?
Oh my, speaking of the Devil. [No pun intended]
True enough, Pastor A. came strolling inside with other two active old-people members. They came in, in a file. Pastor was heading the artillery front. Stopped. Then turned a perfect ninety degrees to the left.
There, in front of his eyes, he saw us sinning in progress. A table of sinners with their greedy hands on their sack of gold coins and an avarice gleams on their eyes that were soulless from years of depravity.
We just needed to be loved!
Ha. Ha.
It's like I could hear his thoughts going like this... "Arrr, tis the work of the Devil! This children should be saved! Arrr!."
Piss on that. Who ruined our belief in the first place, eh?
I gave my customary "hi's" and "please take a seat". Then indifferently sat again by the table, got the deck of cards, shuffled them, and dealt them.
Na was looking at me with her eyes wider than their usual size. I just gave her a bland stare.
"What?", I asked.
Then, she too gave a mischievous grin and started collecting her cards. Alain went back to the computer.
Yen came back to the table, said her hello's to the group with much of an aplomb for a young lady who isn't wearing any bra and her panty weighing heavily on the pocket of her one piece dress.
Actually everybody, except for me, at the house wasn't wearing their bras.
While playing, Yen suddenly asked if we were sinning.
"Heck yeah!" I answered gleefully, "Even dancing is considered sinning."
"Why?" Na asked.
"Because, it's... eviiiiiiiiiiiiiil!" I said in an undertone then gave an evil sounding cackle to add more pizazz. Na looks behind and gave a silent chuckle.
Much later, to our relief, the group said they are leaving.
We said our goodbyes. And nobody in their group gave an invite saying that we should come visit the church.
Grace Baptist Church.
C.O.D- Church of Desolation is what Isnit used to call it, after I invited him and our other gay friends to hear mass, unexpecting to hear our guest Pastor screaming into the microphone about the need to exterminate all gays on the face of the planet. It was such a disastrous memorable evening.
And that's the first and last time I brought visitors to Church. And do you want to know the name of that seminar night that they said that we "must" bring visitors?
Soul Revival.
I think my soul just had a cardiac arrest that night.
So, no invites? Hmmm. Yeayah. At least this way, we don't need to make excuses on why we can't come.
"Aww, sorry our cat sprained it's tail. We think it needs surgery. A major one. ..."
But before they went out the gate, the group and Ate Nida had a prayer rally on our garage.
"What is Pastor praying for?"
"Our souls..."
Then we heard the sound of their car engine fading away.
Ate Minda came out of the room where she was hiding.
Yen shuffled the cards.
Na stretched her fingers.
Ate Rose put her foot up.
I started taping my foot, raised my hands and said, "Thank you for visiting Sodom and Gomorrah!".
Then we all broke into smiles.