The Selso Experience

“Im sorry about this”, Tito Danny said, handing the money over.
“It’s no bother Tito.”, I assured him, giving him his change.
Then Tito Danny walked over to his table where four of his friends are talking over beer.
It was past our closing time, which was nine. I look over my crew and told them that they could go. But they said they could stay for a while longer. I said okay and went back to my accountings.
Then suddenly the front door opened and walked in a lone man. He asked if he order some “Pulutan”.
Kuya Bong, my cook, looked at me. I said to the man that the answer depends on my cook because it’s past closing time. Kuya Bong asked the man what does he want to him to cook. The man, not a little drunk, look over the menu. And from behind the counter I could just see his eyes glaze over. Trying to help out, I gave him some suggestions. Then he started looking for a Tangiuge. I explained that we weren’t big on the seafood department.
Then he asked again what pulutan is best.
I rattled all the sizzling dishes. Again.
While I was explaining what is what. He was staring at my face. Annoyed, I stared right back. Hard. This usually gets me in trouble with men, but I don’t suffer fools.
Then he asked how much.
We told him.
He said all he had was sixty bucks.
Remembering the Tanguige, there was some brows raised. With that kind of money all he could buy was the tail of the fish.
Then our cook said that he’ll cook him a bicol express worth that much.
He agreed.
So Cook went into the kitchen. My waitresses were cleaning up. And my boys were stacking foods. I told the man to sit down and went back to my accounting. Later I found he was still standing directly in front me. Ignoring him, I just continued finishing my work.
Then he started to do what I dreaded most, socialize.
He started conversing with me.
I hate small talk.
Giving a sigh, I looked up and tap my right ear with my right index finger.
“What?”, he asked.
“You need to speak up,” I said.
“You’re deaf?”, he asked in english.
I resisted rolling my eyes over that question.
“No, but I’m rather used to people who talks louder.” I explained in my usual rapid English.
He just looked at me for a while.
Then he continued in Tagalog “Could I have a beer while waiting?”, he asked.
“Of course.”, I replied.
Then he repeated the same question. Slowly.
Then I saw his fingers inching towards mine. I retracted my fingers, loosely gripping my G-tech pen.
Confused, I answered him an affirmative.
Then he repeated the same question.
Then his fingers inched another nanometer towards mine. I gripped my pen harder this time.
“Are you asking me, if you could have a beer while waiting?”, trying to clarify where he was heading with this conversation.
“No.” He answered.
Then he grasped my right hand.
“ I was asking…”, he droned on.
I wasn’t hearing what he was saying anymore. My mind was blocking what was happening. I instinctively raised my imprisoned hand and untangled it from his.
Jimmy suddenly appeared on my side.
I looked at Leah a who was also beside me, and asked her what the man wants.
She said that the man was asking if he could have a beer while waiting.
“Is he gonna pay for it?”, I asked confused.
“Yes.”, she answered.
Wasn’t that what I had thought all along?
“It’s so simple, how come you couldn’t get it?”, the man asked.
Duh.
“Tagalog isn’t one of my strong points.” And that’s all I’m gonna say about it.
“What are you?” He asked. “Japanese, Vietnamese, Korean?”, He rattled on.
My goodness, the man is dull as a butter knife.
I was about to add a witty retort but my dry wit was overpowered by annoyance.
“I’m Chinese.” I snapped, while adding a chinese accent.
Just for effect.
“Ah, that’s why you’re rich.”, he concluded.
And your power of deduction sucks, Einstein.
He wasn’t even finished with his sentence when I snapped an angry “No.”
I hate people who don’t even know me presumes that I’m rolling in money. Whether it’s true or not.
I could just imagine stabbing my pen on his neck.
Then he said something in Ilokano.
Ha. Ilokano is not one of my strong suits either.
I looked at Jun-jun, who was also beside me and asked him the meaning of the word.
“He means rich.” He explained,
Now I’m pissed.
I was about to flay him, when he made a life saving move.
He sat on one of the table.
I asked Jimmy to give the man a glass with ice.
After doing my bidding, Jimmy stood beside me and said, “Kung tinarayan mo lang yun, binugbog ko na yun.”
I could feel the man staring at me. Paying him no heed, I continued doing the accounts.
“Why?” I asked him.
“Kasi tinanong nya kanina kung pwede ka nya i-table.” He answered, referring to the my conversation with the man while he was grasping hand.
“Goddamnnit!” I cursed. “He was asking me?” I asked.
The man was still staring at me non-stop.
“You should have slapped him!”, Leah suggested heatedly.
Then I started chuckling.
I actually wasn’t insulted about the “table” part. I have too many experiences and more scandalous propositions than that that it takes more than this to insult my sensibilities. I was just mad that that I lost a chance for a good fight.
Then Yen-yen came. She was moving like a dervish, moving to and fro. And she was wearing her usual attire, fitted shirt and a short skirt. With her endowed chest and exposed legs I told her to move behind the counter. Hearing the warning in my voice she automatically obeyed me.
“Why?”, she asked.
“Do you see the man over there?”, I asked in Illongo while giving a subtle nod on the man’s direction.
“Yes, why?” she asked in Ilokano before she remembered that we were in a Ilokano speaking region.
Then I gave her the short version on what happened.
“I’m going to tell dad. And I’m going to tell him good. You shouldn’t be working here anyway.” She was spitting mad when she was done with her speech.
Then later Tito Danny went into the restroom. On the way back he was accosted by the man. Obviously Tito Danny didn’t know him but still he gave gave the man a free beer. Then the man came back and said, “Ah your dad is Engr. Larry.”
I just gave a curt yes. I feel he was going to suck up now. Then he chit-chated about what he knows about us and about our other side, the Zaragoza’s.
“Wait a minute. Who are you?”, Yen asked angrily.
But the man evaded the question, instead said that he gives his regards to dad.
“How could we do that when we don’t even know who you are.”, Yen retorted in a tone of a genius talking to a retard.
Then Alain came.
“Alain, I’m going to order you to tackle somebody for me. Pig in a mud tackle.” I whispered to him.
“Huh? Who?”, he asked in a laconic way of his.
“Later.”, I evilly chuckled.
“I noticed you don’t have a guard.”, the man pointed out.
“What do I need a guard for? I have them.” I said nodding toward my “boys” and Alain.
Looking up at Alain, the man patted his arm and sidled away from him.
“You know (some mans name?)”, the man hedged.
“No.” I interrupted.
“You don’t know ( same man with his surname this time)?”, he persisted.
“No.” I said again. Continuing with my one-word answers.
“Who lives behind…” he continued.
“No.” I answered in a I-don’t-give-damn tone. Alain, the diplomat who actually had a worst social skill in memorizing people than me, explained that we don’t know much people here.
“Our dad never let us out.” I butted in.
“Ah.” He said. I could just imagine a lighted bulb on top of his head. “No wonder I don’t see you.” He said.
Opening both my hands in supplication, “Thank God!” I sarcastically exclaimed from behind the counter.
Hearing my remark. Alain looked at the man again. “Do you need anything?”, Alain asked.
Looking up at Alain again, the man must just then notice the resemblance since Alain look a lot like me except he’s prettier with that high nose of his. Thinking he could be in trouble, he patted Alain’s stomach, which raised one of Alain’s eyebrows, and said he’ll be just going over his table.
Little did the man know, when we sisters get into fights with somebody, Alain would be the one stoically eating popcorn during the fight.
Even if it was his honor we are defending.
Even if we were fighting a man.
Even if it was verbally or physically.
Later the man asked how much is he paying. So I had his chit delivered. When he received his bill, he was insulted. He said he wasn’t even finished.
“Do you think I will run?” he said.
Frankly, yes.
A while later I notice it was already past ten. And he was just sitting there. I said to Jimmy to give the man his bill.
Then the man said to Jimmy and Kuya Bong that he wasn’t finished. They told him that we are closing. Then he asked them if I was already going home. They told him I was going home.
Then he peeked at Jimmy’s side and asked me from a distance if I was going home.
I said the shop is closing and my crew needs to get home. So he needs to go.
“But are you going home now?”, he persisted.
Annoyed, I came over to his table and told him no I’m not yet going home, but he should be.
“Ah, but you aren’t going home yet.” He explained.
“So what? The shop is closing so pay up and go.” I bit off.
Then he took out his wallet and I could see a lot of paper bills.
Sixty bucks, my ass.
Leaving him, I went over to Tito Danny and asked him if he goes could he take the other man with him. They said that they were planning to take the guy when the take off.
Saying my thanks, I went to the office and packed my stuff.
And I saw Tito Danny’s friends ordering the man to go with them.
Then next morning over breakfast Yen told the story to Dad.
After assuring that I’m okay, Dad said, “Wow. You will be the attraction there.”
Yen smacked Dad’s arm. “Tang-ina Atching. Binubugaw ka ng tatay mo!”