War of the Pussies

I was bored.
I guess you guys you know the saying, Mess with a drunk than someone who just woke up.
A new adage... never mess with a bored drunk person.
I was bored enough to get a li~~ittle bit drunk. I'm never good at handling beer, you see. And I was so bored that I was mad at the world.
For boring me perhaps.
The war of the pussies, as I like to call it, started with our key players...
Mark: the heroine of the story. A siren who lures men with his powerful voice.
Matt: the love of our heroine. A modern day knight in shining armor. And have fantasies about tubs.
Lee: the noble steed. okay, he wasn't in the story but what the heck.
Anton: he defies description but he's insanely obsesses in getting the heart, if not then the body, of our heroine.
And me: the bored drunk misanthrope.

It started when Anton again tried to snake his way into Mark's heart that Matt got jealous which made Mark angry and had to tell it all to Anton to punish Matt.
Got that?
Yes, love is never a straight paved road. It's like a rosary that's full of mystery and all that blah.
Making good of that chance, Anton sent a trashy email to Matt:

Hey Matt you should be checking on your so called wife! He's hitting on me I think! I am not trying to make you mad or anything but when we went out last time he tried to kiss me, and yes we did, but I told him stop coz its just wrong! Mark told me not to mention this but I just need to! Sorry for this but he told me HE REALLY LOVES YOU!!! So don't fret! Have a good one!!!
--------------------
It was a specious email if I ever saw one.
But Matt didn't reply instead he forwarded the mail to me with this note:

Just forwarding a trashy email! I don't believe it at all!! Lol+z.... Well I'm more excited on a surprise this Wednesday.... hmmm... he said its something he bought for me (Good, I dont have to worry about returning it! Lol+z) So did I do somthing nice to deserve a surprise! Lol+z... I guess I did I've been a nice boy for like 3 to 4 days!! Anyway you have fun girl! I was just checking on you MY LOVE MY SWEET CHING-FLING! I heard you'll be flying back home soon... I'm gonna miss you! But yeah thank God for the internet! Lol+z...

Take care...
---------------------
Problem was instead of forwarding it Matt accidentally pressed the reply button, thus sending it to Anton. Seeing his mistake he forwarded it to me again with another message:

Great!I accidentally clicked on reply instead of forwarding it to you! But yeah here it is my love!
---------------------
I started laughing.
Then Anton asked my email from Mark saying he want's to know Mark's friends. Mark didn't want to but Anton was persistent.
After acquiring his weapons of destruction, he emailed me and Matt:

So you got a love on the side Matt??? You asshole! this time Mark will be with me! So how long have you been cheating??? I guess this is something Mark doesnt know about! I AM SURE! This is what Ive been waiting for, for the longest time!! In a way thank you for cheating!!

Oh and to you Ching thanks! You may not know me but damn girl it seems you know Matt is with someone and still youre with him? Dont get me wrong coz I like it! Finally I can have what is supposed to be mine a long time ago!!!!!!!! thanks!

Matt youre in DEEP SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!! Sorry my friend THIS IS IT!!!!!!
-----------------------
Which I replied a droll:

Ohhhh Anton thanks for showing me the light!
-----------------------
Then Matt emailed me:

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!

But sorry for putting you into this!
Stil this is....

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!

Okay I will sleep on it!!! lol+z... I need my sleep!! Love you!!!
----------------------

Then Anton forwarded Matt's mail to me to Mark and said:

Hey love, I am sorry but this email was accidentally sent to me by Matt. I hope you will be okay. If you wanna go out and need a shoulder to cry on I am just here, let me know and Ill come running or maybe driving to you. Hehe... just trying to make you laugh. I know this would hurt you AGAIN! SoI guess its okay to say I LOVE YOU!!!! Now its not as a friend anymore!!!!!
------------------------
Which Mark forwarded to Matt and me saying:

Matt what is this??? How could you do such a thing???? After all this time??? Lolololololololol... and you Ching youre my friend!!!! TELL ME WHY??????? Wahahahahahahahahahahahahaha... I have no idea whats going on but this is FUNNY!!!!!!!!!!!!! oh well but poor Anton.... Okay mattie dont get me wrong again okay? Lolz! Love you both!!!
------------------------
Then a little later Mark sent another email:

forget i dont pity him, i just read his statement... THAT I WAS THE ONE WHO TRIED TO KISS HIM!!!!!!!!
------------------------


That was before I got drunk. I was just bored then.
But after dinner when I tried finishing my beer, I was drunken bored. So I started reading my mails when I notice the little insults Anton was throwing. He thinks he knows me and I not him.
So I sent another email replying to his mail to me:

oh yeah. forgot to tell you. I do know about you. I know about you before matt and mark got together.
and matt loves me because i'm the person who made it possible for them to be together.
and i'm gay, i prefer women. (smile)
--------------------------
Then I slept on it.
The next morning Anton sent another email to me and Matt, replying to my drunken mail:

You can say what you wanna say!!!!! Both of you will regret it BIG TIME!!!!!
the thing is I will be charging this to your friend... and as for you Matt your so called wife!
--------------------------
Which Matt gave a very mad email:

YOU FUCKING ASHOLE!!! WHY DONT YOU ANSWER YOUR PHONE??? YOU FUCKING SCARED YOU CRAZY DEMENTED SHIT!!!!!!!! DONT YOU EVEN TRY ON PLANNING OR DOING SOMETHING BAD TO MARK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOU KNOW WHAT???? YOU ARE A BIG SISSY!!!!!!!!!!!! ALL YOU DO IS BOMBARD ME WITH YOUR FUCKING BORING EMAILS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! BUT WHY IS IT THE COUPLE OF TIMES I SAW YOU IN THEIR OFFICE YOU CANT EVEN FUCKING LOOK AT ME?????? AND STOP DREAMING YOU ASS!!!!!!! NOBODY WANTS YOU YOUR PARENTS DONT EVEN LIKE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOUR JUST A CUNT YOU DONT HAVE BALLS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

FUCK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! TRY AND MESS WITH ME AGAIN OR ANY OF MY 2 WIVES (YOUR JUST FUCKING JEALOUS COZ YOU DONT EVEN HAVE ONE!!!)!!!!! I ASSURE YOU ARE GOING TO BE THE ONE WHO WILL REGRET IT!!!! YOU PIECE OF SHIT!!!! YOU MAGGOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!
----------------------------
Then Matt sent me an email after that:

Hey Ching if ever Anton starts emailing you with all his shit just ignore it or just spam or whatever!!! Okay??? Thanks! I love you too!!! Lol+z... I JUST WANNA KILL HIM THIS VERY MOMENT!!!!!!!! But that shit is scared!!! Anyway forget about it have fun!!!! I LOVE YOU!!!!!!
------------------------
Which I replied:

it is okay. LOLZ.
i was a little drunk when i started reading his mails and i got annoyed. LOLZ. yes, a note to oneself, never drink and check emails. Wahahahahaha. i even told him im gay.

ahhhh, this shall relieve me from my boredom.
------------------------
And he replied:

Hahahahahaha Glad you are enjoying it!!! Lol+z... Yeah right just enjoy this! Lol+z...
------------------------
Then I gave another reply to Matt and Mark:

oh yeah! thanks for defending my honor matt!
i love you more for that!

ohhh, mark, it's so nice to have a big hunky man watching over us LOL+Z. lab you too mark!!!
the shirt's are not still here btw. I wouldn't be surprised if the mailmans are wearing fairy shirts now..
------------------------
Which Matt sent a reply to Mark and me.

Anything for my 2 "gay" girls!!! Lol+z.... I LOVE YOU EVEN MORE TOO!!!! Shhhhhh Mark might catch us!!! Lol+z
------------------------
Then I went back to replying to Anton's mails.
The guy was oblivious. Can't he see that Mark is added to all our mailing list in this episode.
Obviously, Mark knows everything.
So I replied to Anton:

i knew you were stupid...

Mark, sabi ko sayo mukhang bobo to eh. at tama nnman ako dabah? nanji, wlang karapatang mabuhay. wahaha.
------------------------
Which Anton replied barely 5 minutes later:

I understand tagalog! Bitch!
------------------------
Which I answered a scant minute later:

i know that you slut! wahahahaha.
------------------------
Then later Mark was apologizing that Anton got hold of my email address.
I replied:

lab you girl.
ako ay natutuwa sobra at binigay mo email ko. di na ako bored!!!! lab you!!!
------------------------
And Mark replied:

Sobrang comedy na toooo!!!!!!!!!!!!! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOHOOOOO

pampaalis ng stress sa work!!! wahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha... di ko lam pinagmulan nito pero si anton mabait naman sa akin sa pagiwan ng voicemail!
sweet ang sinungaling na ahas!!!!!! lolz alam mo sabi niya ganito "Please talk to me, I know you hate me again probably but I just cant get over you! Sorry! Call me please..." KAPAL NG MUKHA!!!!!!!!! WAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHA...
------------------------
A little while longer Anton replied to me only:

FUCK YOU BITCH! I SWEAR I'M GONNA FUCKING FUCK YOUR PUSSY! SO YOU'LL KNOW HOW IT FEELS!!! I DONT WANNA WASTE MY TIME EMAILING YOU! PROBABLY THAT'S THE REASON WHY, YOU HAVEN'T HAD A DICK UP YOUR CUNT YOUR WHOLE LIFE! YOUR A WASTE OF TIME!
------------------------
Which I gave a happy:

wahahaha. that's it? oh i'm scared. lol. as if you're man enough for me.
and i've seen your ehem prick and this pussy ain't impress. so it's no
loss. i'm better off with my women.

and now i'm a waste of time... but lo and behold you emailed me again. and you went to mark to get my email too! i'm flattered. really i am.

fuck me? LOL. you wished. you need to drug me for that...

and forwarded it too to Mark and Matt. Because we know that Anton would even stoop to drug a person just to get off.
--------------------------
And after sometime he replied:

How can say you that you haven't even seen me!!! PUTANG INA MO!!!!!!

Of course, we all know he's refering to the size of his penis. He wasn't even concerned that I know his drugging people underhandedly. He was more concerned that I find his size lacking.
Typical.
--------------------------
I replied:

ah. by the power of the internet. (laughs)

what an intelligent reply...

you're such a skirt anton. you only fight with girls, or someone who's far away... mmm. you can't even face matt.

figuratively i have a bigger dick than you. (grins)
---------------------------
Then he didn't reply back.
How disappointing.
So now I bored again that's why I'm writing this down.