Bloody radio announced that now is a "no boy band" time... so naturally I was waiting in anticipation for some head-bangging sound when this came on air...
"Madeline [in an ear-grating Ilocano accent]... ako'y nauutal... patunggong banal... uhuhuhum..."
As the black people say it... shiat!
tragedically disappointed
Another day in Baracca... doing what I do everyday.
Sitting, sleeping, reading, drawing, eating Mr. Chips, and the occasional twiddling of my thumbs in between those mudane things I do.
Every bloody day.
So one day sitting in my desk with my feet on top and reading some unrememnered book, an old woman approached the desk and started selling her trade.
A sack of seneguleas.
Maybe she saw that I wasn't interested, she launched into a story of her, eating a certain mango that is making her itchy.
I just gave a non-conversational grunt.
Then she started scratching her chest. Afraid of not buying her sack of seneguelas, she raised her shirt. And I found out to my horror that she wears no bra or whatever they use when you get that old.
In front of me were her unattractive sagging breast! And we were in a public place. I dunno. Maybe the old woman had fantasies of being an exhibitionist. But for the sake of all that's holy! I didn't ask for this. To see such breast!
Then she started to scratch them viciously.
I just sat there slack-jawed.
Feeling that I should pay for the show or I shouldn't let the incident go unpaid... I bought two sacks of seneguelas.
Who said country people are simple and conservative?
tragedically flabbergasted
Ah. Such a long time passed. Well last night I got so drunk... just 5 glasses of vodka but not that drunk that I lost all faculties. My stepdad wasn't that lucky tho.
tragedically drunk
During my cousin's wedding, which took place in California, I met the two former members of the Fil-Am boy band KAI. It seems that the brothers are a distant cousin of mine. And now they are the managers of the band.
I met them at the reception.
Awesome, I would say.
Thank God when he ask me if I heard about them, my mind clicked.
I said "Kai? Short for Kaibigan?"
I saw them once on our cable on Tayug a couple years ago. I saw one of their music video.
And it just stuck to my mind.
Or else I would just had said my "ahhhs" and "ohhs".
They also asked me who other Filipino singers I listen to.
My mind drew a blank then, because I'm not a fan of Filipino music or singers.
After a pregnant pause, I answered ,"ummm... slapshock....".
"Ah... who else? As in singers", they persisted.
"Regine Velasquez" I said after some undecided moments.
"Ah... we shared a table once. She doesn't speak english fluently", one brother said.
I just said my ahhs.
Well. Dad called. So the next day mom dropped me off at Auntie Celia's home. Where they have a Cinema One. I watched Gabby Conception beat the crap out of Aiko. Then after watching the movie and feeling I have wasted precious time watching rather than sleeping, we drove over to Dita's house. The people who the party was for were late. So me and Princess just sat there and absorbed all Cartoon Network's show. Then later they came. Dad has a big pimple, which seemed already stomped to it's beginnnings. Then I saw Judge Pastor. Then I saw Tito William, then Kuya Jo. Seeing Kuya Jo makes me long to go back.
You're fat.
That's the first thing they said to me. Ha-ha. As if I don't know. I live in this body for chrissake.
Then Jo and I just watch cartoons the whole day. Then Sleeping Beauty. Tho we chatted a lot. Then Anger Management.
Tho I didn't get te chance to finish the movie because Dad was forcing me to go to the mall with them. So I was forced. I went to the mall with Jo and five old men. And then there was this one whose hand is always on me. I don't like to be touched by any kind of man, be he old or young. Kids I tolerate, for they are innocent. Which I never was.
He needs to get laid. Since I'm sure he never had sex for more than 10 days now. So when we got to the mall, Jordan asked me if they have a shop there where we could buy a Gameboy SP. So the two of us went off to another direction. This is the first time I went shopping with a person I could call a man, alone. It was a weird feeling. Then later we went shopping... he was asking for my aprroval and all... questions like... what do you think is the best perfume? Could you chose for me.
And I was thinking so this is what a girlfriend feels. Hell. Im not good in shopping.
And some man wants me to make some decisions for him?! The best thing is we talked a lot. I like talking. On occassions. Well he talk to me like he was talking to his man friend. We started looking for chicks. He was amazed that nothing resembles the girls in the movies. So was I when I first came here.
Dude! Where are the hot chicks?!
The older men I came in with were shopping in Macy's buying apparels for women. A loud bunch of middle-aged guys in a woman's section... And I thought my life wasn't weird enough.
Then we went back to the party then went to Ezra's house. Then the old guys was asking us if I should go with them to Foxwoods. And be the only girl on their company? Again? No thanks. Then Jordan says in an undertone to me. If you won't go then I won't go either. That's the sweetest thing I heard him say to me. I think I was deprieved of human sweetness. This is a weakness. Nyahahahaha.
Then everybody was asking if he was my brother. Sure we are both Chinese, eventhough I am half-blood. And he used to borrow me from my mom and play with me, and his hair rivals my own but that doesn't mean we are siblings.
The man is a decade older than me.
Then later at night Ezra was asking me if he was my boyfriend. Haha. That was funny.
Then the next day mom woke me up at two in the afternoon then I went home. Ate my lovely Whopper. Then hugged my lovely PC.
By now Dad could be on his way to Canada.
tragedically tired
Meet Syvil... polite to the bone. Civil. She's so polite she fears she's nearing the doormat case. Like's to wear corporates attires and slacks. Move in a classy way. She likes to paint. Likes to do research and stuff. Makes jokes but in a very polite tone. Never laughs just smiles. To be polite of course. She's a good friend tho. Helps everyone. She has a soft heart. Sees only the good in a person. She's good in talking to elder people and childrens. She love's children. Hates men tho. Listens to light music and pop. Likes bautiful things.. comfortable things. And loves nature in it's bloom. Loves collecting pocketbooks. Is a homebody. And she swoons at the thought of blood.
Meet Tripp. Moves as a man moves. Love men's company. He likes to sketch. Listen to metal and hardcore music. Likes weird things. Collects lighters, knifes, spikes. Doesn't take himself seriously. He's inteligently witty. Laughs a bit. For camaderie. Facade. Likes parties.
Meet Asherah the Dark One. Likes to be left alone. Loves beauty in it's own pace. Love it's darkness. Love nature in its dark beauty... in it's killing rage. Embraces the dark. She draws her darkness and the passion behind it. She collects goths stuff, daggers, and crosses. Listens to opera, violins and goth music. She is evil. She is damned. A black soul. She kills people and likes tortures. Never laughs. She has a dark humor. She's cunning and manipulative. Twisted. Likes the thought of blood.
Tho they are bonded. You can never see them at the same time. Ashera always locks herself in. Only Syvil and Tripp knows about her and they try to keep her hidden. You can see Syvil in parties and you can see Tripp almost everywhere. Syvil holds Tripp's reign. Syvil isnt good at emotinal problems... when she feels she's cornered Tripp rescues her. Sometimes making the situation worse. Until Syvil can't candle it then Ashera comforts her. Then something dark blooms. Syvil is trying hard to cope up and face this emotinal confrontation. Tripp is good in diverting and Asherah is good at comforting Syvil. Its a amazing bond. So many extremes but it just comes out right.
tragedically open
Hmm. Nothing happened since I last wrote here. The hurricane slowed down before it reached our place. And I slept throught it! Shit. I was planning on basking on it's fury. My disapoinment was great. I wanna feel Mother Earth's wrath. I woke and saw evreything was wet. Ask my mom where was the huriccane that was about to make history. She anwered that it passed already. Damn... the only thing that got smash was a bunch of flowers when the pool fence felled.
Did nothing today but researched airline tickets. And Vampire stuff. Now I know some truth about them. Tho I still couldn't ask Dorjan on how he murdered his wife. He lives in Massachusettes. He went to party in Providence this month and was asking me if I would be there. I said no, since I'll be in Connecticut with my cousin reading horror stories. He said that was good. He don't want the evening to be grim.
Well i have lot of weird friends I vow. And I also found out that I have vampire signs. Or I'm just sick.
tragedically wishing
Yeah I'm lazy! I'm lazy lazy lazy. Tho I'm not lazy enough to be annoyed. I get annoyed a lot this days. Must be PMS. Which is the longest PMS I have....
Okay, update. We went to Orlando Florida because stepda has a convention there. And going there our flight was a bit unstable. We had turbulence in air. Then everyone, including me let out a estatic whoop when the plane dropped. Yeah we are a crazy bunch of people up there.
Must be the cabin pressure.
And I was always placed on the window seat at beside the wing, which I studied the wing's mechanics and relating it to what I saw at the Air and Space Museum at the Smithsonian Park. Then we checked-in in Gaylords Palms. It was awesome. Which gave me some dread because my mom keep on insisting on taking pictures.
On every angle.
I tried my best to convince her to get a video so she could get a picture on it in thousand of frames. So we did a tour of the place. And ate. Gawd! I just wanna rest. And take a bath. It was tiring. For a whole week all we did was went to Disney and Universal and MGM. And sometimes it rains. And I tried all the rollercoasters and The Twilight Zone.
Sigh. I wanna go home. And be gloomy. The Universal was super but the Disney? Gawd! There's too much sweetness there. I imagine pixie dust all over the place. That's why I killed myself in rollercoasters.
Bring on the fury!
Twice.
It makes the Enchanted Kingdom looks so tame. If only my stomache was in a good mood I've done it again and again.
Then yipee we went home. Sigh. Oh how I miss my bed. And the internet!
Then what did I do next? Hmm. Well I chatted with my darkside friends. Then the next week we went to Tita Villa's House. Me and Tara pitched a tent and slept there for the night with mom. I told real life horror stories and read her a R.L. Stine books and some other author. Then we went home but first went to Uncle Edwin because Forest was there. Got some pocketbook. Adopt their fish. And yeah we bought a 55 gallon aquarium. It was very pretty.
Then now I heard we will be hit by a very very strong huriccane. Farewell!
tragedically inconsistent
I had a conversation with John last night. It's like talking to a psychiatrist with a psychotic edge. Healthy for me tho, because I was on edge last night too. Haha. I was a bit high. Not on drugs but I just get high sometimes without any reason. We call it in the civilized world as mood swings.
After John and I analyzed his distrurbing mind, we were stuck with silence. Hmmm. So? Yeah?
Then he said even tho we see each other basically everyday for 4 years, he say he still don't know me. The real me.
Oh, I said. I dunno, I never waste much time analyzing myself.
But I do, I do analyze but in the middle of it all I just give up. Ha! Why bother and what will I do anyway with it if I discover "me"? Will I still have thrills?
Then John said that if only he knows himself well, maybe people would like him better. I said that's futile. Even if you know yourself, people won't. And who knows oneself better than you. It's just wasted effort.
He said he can't figure me out.
So do I. So do I.
Sometimes I think I have a split personality. Now I'm paranoid.
I think this session isn't going very well.
Then he said that I don't show people my inner most feeling. And that part of me scares the shit out of him [His words, not mine].
Good.
And he envies me. Tsk tsk tsk. Be careful what you wish for...
Well I said that all I discovered so far is that I'm obsessive-compulsive. And I have mood swings. And he is right that I just go with the flow. And I don't take myself seriously.
Yes! He fairly screamed. I'm so right that I don't take myself seriously, but he just can't say that in the open because I might get mad.
Mad? Me? What a waste of energy for me. I just do a slow torture. I said that I won't get mad if it's true, right? I even told him that he could slap that in my face. But problem is I slap back. It's more of a reflex. Really.
Then I have a talked with Donnadel too. She wasn't feeling well because she just found out that she was stabbed at the back by her so-called friends. She just wished that I was there to kill (my term) her friends. She was used and betrayed by those hijo de puta friends of hers. I said don't worry the wheel will turn and the circumsatnces will be reversed. In the future she could be the one holding the whip. Mwuahahahahaha! Well those friends of hers sounds really bitchy. It isn't her fault that she's too good. They abused her. I never abused our friendship even if she looks up to me in highschool. Actually, I was the only one who stayed with her. Although it was because the teacher ordered us to befriend her. And so, one day I approached her and showed her a trick with my hands. Since that day she started tagging with me. Which annoys me. Because I'm a bit of a loner, stuck with my books. Tho you could say I have many friends.
But then annoyance gave way to tolerance. Then there it all started. Eventhough we aren't classmates anymore she accompanies me at lunch when I eat with Ruth and my sister.
And do try to influence some evil in her. Oh dress like me! No go for the shorter skirt. What do you mean your shy?! And don't look down when I talk to you and when eating! Chin up! Gawd! Have some spine!
Guess good conquers evil.
And yes I think I'm a loner, tho I have a very wide circle of close friends. But I know I can live on my own. College came, gawd I'm so influencial everybody looks up to me and listens to my decisions. I guess I'm good at adapting which is thankful. I am comfortable sitting at a table with people with the same age as mine as sitting with ederly matrons. And people older than me by a generation enjoys talking with me... be it a woman or a man.
And I'm comfortable being alone as being in a large group.
Uhuh. Im versatile.
tragedically bizzare
Woke up. Got dressed. Went to Conecticut. Watched Bringing Down the House. Ate. Watched Final Destination 2, What a Girl Wants. Ate. Watched Frailty. Went home. Ate. And here I am.
Boring huh?
tragedically dead
Ha! Been a long time since I wrote here. Yeap the novelty is wearing off again. Okay to summarize the past few days would be easy, since nothing exciting came up.
So, we went to Connecticut. Step dad was asking mom when we will come back. Mom said Sunday. Maybe.
Why the maybe? Stepda asked. Then he asked could it be because of the cat.
Yeah, stepda, it was the cat.
Then mom broke it with saying maybe she'll be coming home with me. Oh lala. Hurt. Bam. Slam. Crush and burn stepda. Then he said that if he is a hard man to live with... then they don't have to marry. Her choice. As long as she gets a greencard before coming home so that she could live here. Oh wow. Martyrdom. Who could hate a man like that?
Me. I hate martyrs. And he made me sad because Twinkle must go. Hmm, but it's better than him being killed by dendrites. I don't want it in my conscience. I could grow old. And be like them. Shivers.
So we went off, knowing we would come back on Monday.
And I discovered that I'm kind of good in direction here. Back home I get lost on my own backyard.
When we reached Auntie Villa's house... we unpacked our things... then Pat and Tara saw Twinkle. They fell in love. So we gave Twinkle to them. Then Pat asked that if we could change it's name. Yeah I said, go ahead. He isn't mine anymore anyway. Tara wants to call him Tiger. Pat said she always gives names. It should be his turn now. And he wants a decent name... not Tiger or something like that. Okay, Tara said, how about Jack she asked. Pat said what's with the duck names anyway? I said Twinkle moves like Flash. Then Pat came with the name Pietro... from a creator of a comics or something. Cool huh?
So the Mom's went off to buy some stuff and dropped off Tara on her friend's house. Pat got Amie and showed her Pietro. Then later I was left all alone in the house. Oh and I forgot I watched the video tape of Charlotte's Web. First time I heard Wilburs voice I can't supress my giggles. Haha.
Then the next day we went to fetch Mama Adele's. Along the way I got a job. A first for me. I will be a companion. Just accompany an old lady... seems good... since that's mostly what I do except I do my gardening. Then we went to the party. It was fun sing-along, dance and food galore. Typical Filipino party.
Then we went home and later night went to The Dock to see a 50's band. No, I didn't dance. Will I ever?
Then the later mom informed me that we will be going home tomorrow morning. Attack of guilt? She said, no it was not.
So the next day we went home and I got myselof a stuff toy of a siberian husky, my favorite dog breed, and named it Mush. I name my dolls. At this age. Yeah. No, it isn't weird.
Then later Forest came with Uncle Edwin. I was asleep.
We went to the party. Forest blew all his mucus on my arm. Maya, Kamya and I watched Burn The Floor. Kamya slept through it. Later, we watched Cabaret. The two think it's weird. I could relate with the movie. Kamya was freaked out with the characters. I understand perfectly the roles of the characters. The movie they say was disturbing. There's only one thing that bothered me. The other guy's moustache. It's a one shade lighter than his blond hair. He looks like an ad on "Milk?".
Then we went home then I wasted the whole day next day.
Apparently this day too.
tragedically wasted
Something with claws jumped on my face. Ahh! Jepeers Creepers came out to eat me! Wait! I haven't watch that movie yet...
Damn, I woke up to see Twinkle jumping on my bed, to and fro, trying to catch my toes and fingers underneath the comforter. Saw my aircon still on... which only means it isn't my time to wake up yet. Ah! I wished Twinkle will settle down and go back to sleep.
I pulled the covers over my head. Thinking that he was all alone in the room, Twinkle started meowing. Taking pity on him. I pulled the covers back. He seemed to smile and went on to muching my fingers. To tired to do anything... I went back to sleep.
Later mom came in and took Twinkle. Later she came in again and woke me up saying it was already one in the afternoon and I should wake up to eat lunch. I slept for another ten minutes then dragged my lazy ass to the dining room.
Ate. Brushed my teeth... I haven't brushed my hair for 3 months now.... it doesn't need brushing anyway. Then went down to my pc.
But before that my mom and I ws discussing about Twinkle's fate. And she was telling what happened last night.
When she came in and went to bed... stepda was having theatrics... he was wheezing. Heavily. In the dark of their bedroom my mom just raised her eyebrows. He even went as far as having trouble sleeping. He even woke up wheezing and coughing his lungs out. Go for the Emmy I say. Imagine... Twinkle didn't even went there. He must have catch the cat's dendrites when he walked past by my bedroom door. Under the door. Through the slit. Through the covered slit. Covered with taped. Hmmm... Deadly.
Then later mom want to blow off some steam, we went to Mohegan to watch Air Supply. Air Supply you say? Yeah... not evil enough for me. Were they popular before or after my birth? Before? Ahh. Evil wasn't invented then. That explains a lot of things. Evil was born 20 years ago anyway.
tragedically bitched
I suddenly woke up. Having hard time breathing. Argh! Twinkle is happily sleeping on my neck... effectively cutting some of my air. Oh man! I just slept for an hour and a half. And I went back to sleep without moving a muscle so the poor darling could have her beauty sleep uninterrupted. Later at three, Twinkle was purring so loud that I woke up again.. and I also hear some squirting sounds... hmmm.
Then at nine in the morning, I heard my mom calling me at my window... she was locked out because she forgot her keys at the car repair shop.
What about my beauty sleep?!
So woke up. Went to do some gardening. Swam. Stained the deck. Write my daily doings which Twinkle accidentally erased. Yeah.
Then stepda came home. Saw Twinkle.
"What's with the cat", he asked. "You know I'm allergic to them. Dendrites. Give me 5 minutes... and you'll see".
About an hour later and the cat was safely hidden in my room, step da said his goodnights with a healthy parlor. Went to their room.
Later, I felt sleepy too and went upstairs. Twinkle was in my bed. Then I went out, with him bounding behind me, to the bathroom. I brushed my teeth and something, and when I came out he was eating again. Oh no! argh! What the hell. So I called him to the room. Read my book while I left him doing jumps all over my room. Later he climb my bed and slept on my pillow when an unmistakable stench drifted to my nose.
Shit.
Literally.
I grabbed him and smelled his behind thinking this cat don't know how to clean himself. When I didn't smell a thing, except inhaling his furs, I smelled the stench on the other side of my bed. Oh shit. I started rearranging my bedroom. And he was just sitting there with his droopy eyes thinking what got up my ass.
Aha! I found the treasure! Yeah and I washed it off then threw it in the laundry basket downstairs. When I went up again I saw him sitting in front of his basin and was about to eat again, when I grabbed him. Oh no you don't, I mumbled to myself. I don't want to have a repeat performance thank you.
tragedically insomiac
Woke up at noon today. Aren’t I great? Cris said I should get a job. I’m a lazy girl he said. Later, Andre said that too.
Then mom hassled to me to move, because we are going to Connecticut again. Great. Just great. That means I will meet that greasy pig Jessie again. Shit.
Took a bath and dress for about 15 minutes. Then played again. Then after saying my goodbyes to my net friends, dashed off to the car.
10 yards from the gate I had this feeling that I forgot something very important. Something vital. Then my mom made a remark that this is the first time she saw me going out without my dark glasses. Shit! That was it! No wonder my head hurts.
It was a forty minutes drive. I think. Yeah when we arrived Ken opened the door for me. Sweet girl. We get along very well. Then when I entered the house they were watching “Magkapatid”. Of course, it was a tear jerker. Later I was sniffling my nose. After the movie my headache got worst. Shit I’m pathetic. I cry at a freaking movie.
And I claim that I’m sickly evil.
Pathetic.
Then of course when Richard woke up and saw me… then cried “Ahh! My sexy is here! How are you love?!”
Great what another way to ruin my day.
Then he sat beside me grope my hands.
No words spoken I removed my hands near any vicinity of his body which is impossible cause there is no more space on the sofa.
Am I to suffer this fate every time I’m with my friends?!
Of course after that, I sat on the floor. Better.
Then I saw that my girl friends are all wearing the same shirts. Again. Look at my blouse… well this seems better. I don’t want to be one of the group. I want to be… me. Yes the odd duckling. And it doesn’t bother me a bit. Distinguished I would say. He he.
Later we went to the other house… Jessie’s house. Great…
Hmmm nice house. Doesn’t suit for a person who doesn’t only look like a pig but has a personality of one too. Though I love the vegetable garden at the back. And okay their TV. It's bigger than ours. Who cares! And there’s a lovely kittens too. Mom gave a shriek of joy seeing them. Grabbed one and rub it’s nose.Yeah the entire group is there. We watched “Whatever it takes”. Twice. One after the other. Wahoo, headache getting worse.
Then A.J. keeps on feeding me. Cantaloupes then chicken wings and gives me napkins too. He calls me sexy too. I said I don’t like to be called that. He said it’s cool, he’ll call me cute. Choosing the lesser evil, I just nod. Then later on the second movie run... He was holding my hands. And Richard is beside me too… leaning his head on my shoulder. Then later A.J. is playing with my hands. Then suddenly I get this really weird vibes. Does this guy like me? And he’s too young for me. In fact, 6 years my junior. Or is he gay?
I prefer if he is gay.
And later the sofa was all mine, and then Mac came. He said that I looked comfortable in the sofa. Then he said that he missed me. I miss sexy.
All I said was, “Ah… nice hair”
Well he had it cut in semi-bald. Look nice.
Actually I forgot who he is.
Then I saw the Pig. Oink oink.
And Denden was there too. Later they were giggling and ticking each other.
It was disgusting to watch. For me. It’s not because they are cousins. But because it’s the Pig, for Christ sake! And he knows what I feel. Actually I don’t think so. He thinks I’m annoyed with him. Hah! Not passionate enough for me. I just show him apathy, while I think of ways to murder him. In a creative way.Later Ken and I went out for a walk. Saw Marcus in the dark calling someone on the phone with his headlights glaring at our eyes. We just walked and left him there. We didn’t know he was lost.
Then later the teen group invited me to go to Mohegan with them. And they begged my mom that she must allow me. My mom was about to give in when I kicked her in the shin. Ahh… subtleness sometimes isn’t my best suit. I don’t have a toothbrush or extra clothes with me. And I do love my bed with passion. I love my bed more than I love men. Wait, I don’t even like men.
Yeah. Said my goodbye happily then they gave us a kitten… which is here lying beside my keyboard.
Mom would like to call it Gorgeous… until I threatened her with a seizure. And the kitten would die of shame if she did because it’s a male.
Ahh… I’m good at naming. Let’s give him an evil name! I want to give him some of Satan’s name.
Yeah. Then we settled for Twinkle.
tragedically malignant
Alarm clock woke me up at 6. Amazing. And no, I didn't wake up that early to greet the sun. In fact I went down, opened my computer, did some stuff and went back again to bed, which is my world.
Alarm went off at 11 again. Snuggled more on the covers. Thirty minutes later I forced myself to wake up and went to down to my computer again. Talked to Ian. Then he went mushy on me. My hairs stood up on end. Makes me want to turn off my IM.
Thank god when he got disconnected. And now I have a headache. Sebi badger me until I turned on my IM again to see his cam. He was in a bathrobe. So was I, in my favorite chinese robe again. Totally with a chinese buns on the side of my head. At least I’m not fool enough to turn my cam.
Giving me a goodbye kiss at his cam, Sebi logged off. I sighed a sigh of relief.
Sigh.
Then I went back to the creating site. Then I decided to garden... Got my iPod and saw it was out of battery. Damn. Charge it while synchronizing it at my music library. Took an hour. Oh well. I went to get the dog and was about to go out into the gardens when the dog barked. Augh. There is a man outside. Since I don't want anyone seeing me in my chinese bunned hair I called to mom and didn't went out the house until the man delivered the refrigerator.
Change clothes for my gardening spree and was about to go out when it suddenly had a down pour. Shit. Seems the sun don't want to greet me either. So much for torturing the poor helpless plants. So I put the dog backed into the cage. And sat at my computer again with my chinese bun intact.
Now Ian is chatting with me and begging that we should go out. When I come back home. And just the two of us. Ow my gawd. Going home seems... Not so good now. I said I don't go out by two's especially if the other one is man. Gay is good. But a man? Ewww.
He said okay let's make it three... With his mom. Shit. His mom like's me too much. Will I ever be rid of men?
With the help of my chinese bun? Hmmmmm.
tragedically useless
Woke up today, with my step dad singing his lungs out, "jeproks" just out of my bedroom door. And I saw that it was still dark, so I dived again at my comfortable nest. Guess my stepda wasn't giving up on me; he came back with a guitar and struck some chords. I squint at my clock seeing it's past twelve in the afternoon.
Of course my room is dark... Why hibernate if it's all sunny? I love the gloom. Which explains my allergic reaction when I go out on the sun with no dark glasses. I even water plants with my sunglasses on.
I got out of bed and swaggered to the closet to get some clothes because the door has no luck and I was only wearing my panties and put on my chinese robe and drank my grape juice and went out of my room.
I’m not a morning person, even if I wake up at lunch.
Glancing at the windows with heavy curtains I saw that it was dark and raining outside. Perfect. Suits my mood.
Then sat at the table and had the mistake of stuffing myself. I'm a pig. No, I’m a fat pig.
After putting the dishes at the dishwasher I brushed my teeth and went down. Sat on my computer did the site. Which took me forever until the browser won't work because I exceeded the allocated memory. As if I’m building an empire here.
Then I watch discovery channel with my mom and ate her homemade canned peaches which has a suspiciously soap-taste-like ingredient.
I hope they wouldn't find me dead tomorrow at my bed. I could be in rigor mortis by dawn and they won't know until tea time in the afternoon.
And I didn't went to church today.
I know where my soul belongs.
Sebi kept on badgering me to see him on his web cam. Yeah. When I did, I rolled on the carpet giggling. Which is unusual.
Told him that he looks like my friend Jeff... He said he would kill him then because he is unique. Pshaw.
Ahh I need my milk and Kahlua before I go to bed. Yap drink.
tragedically crazy
Saturday. My one of my favorite day. If I’m in school.
Vacation. So it doesn't matter.
Woke up with covers over my head and my step bro sitting on top of me, wiggling. Then he pulled the covers. Then he ran screaming out of my room about things that he shouldn't be seeing.
Underwears.
Young kids like that shouldn't know anything about malice yet.
Guess they grow them here like that.
Hmmm. At least I resisted the urge to sleep in the nude last night. That will shock the hell out of him. Which is a good thing, because I think that sometimes that kid was possessed by evil spirits.
And one evil in the family is enough.
I must buy a lock for my door.
Then we went peach picking. Yeah, mom picked them off the counter. Great. I just sat there and listened to my raging music. I think I haven't spoken more than a thousand words today.
And now I just learned that my step bro takes a bath with his mom. Brother...
My step bro seems to have a destructive nature sometimes... And some people find it funny... But after a week they get annoyed. Me? It just took me a day. But I guess kids will be kids... No matter how annoying they could be. And his dad just adores the hell out of him. Mom just said... Ahh you just wait.
I know what she means... That kid couldn't be curbed. He wants attention so much that it borders in rudeness. And I sometimes tell that that it’s bad... But he would just glare at me... Then he would turn cute again when his dad is there.
Amazing.
Well it doesn't matter since his not my charge or something. And I won't be living with him for more than half my lifetime. I could choose my own poisons, thank you.
Then he pee'd in the jacuzzi... little shrimp. Rich in vitamin c? Maybe he'll drown a bit and swallow a bit of the water. Who'll drown in a jacuzzi anyway?
Then of course I watered the plants. Then during dinner it rained. Shit. Waste of my valuable time. I could just have continued my torture on the other plants.
They want my attention. Hah. Them and everyone else.
tragedically messed
I want to buy a diary. Shit. Where am I going to buy one anyway?
Been doing nothing all day... Woke up at two in the afternoon... Yeah my life here is between heaven and limbo. Yeah and I’m complaining. Must shut up.
Well better to spend my day here like this than having a repeat performance of yesterday... I punch the cousin of my cousin. Too bad he's build like a porky rock. If ever there is something as such.
Asshole.
That he is. Shit. I want to kick him. Well I did. But he's stupid so he thought I was fooling around.
Dunce.
And I even step on his balls. Well it seems he was turned on by that.
Pervert.
I want to strangle him but that would only grease my hands.
If I was only back at my country, maybe I could ask someone to kill him. Yeah. That would be nice, and the good people will thank me.
Did nothing new today, just tortured some plants and some frogs. And talked with my dad... Which he wrangled me to do some evil stuff.
I’m not evil.
Just sick.
Yeah there's a difference.
Today's Cris birthday. Yeap he's evil... Well maturely evil. And he's been asking me to do some logo for his company. Too bad my mind's still on vacation mode. It's not conditioned for thinking mode yet. I like that guy. Even if he is a decade older than me.
And Joanne has a boyfriend, one she met on the chat. Sheesh, no one meets properly these days.
I could marry my computer then.
yippee...
Now I have this other friend. Sebi. Short for Sebastian. Romanian. And lives 24 miles from Dracula’s castle. Imagine that. He makes sites. The S and M... Bondage and other kinky lala. He's handsome too. Hmm. At least I don't go that type.
And another one, a weird friend... He wants to fly over here and marry and have babies... Yes, your hearing is good, babies. And he didn’t even know me. Suicidal... Reminds me of John... Only worse.
Yes, I am a weirdo magnet. Throw me to a room with one weirdo among million of people and I would attract him. That's why I tend to be harassed everywhere anytime. That's why I tend to shoo off guys.
Ah yes, watering plants... I was doing that until the dog slobber all over me. I was thinking of throwing him to the pool... But alas I’m not that wicked yet.
Don't worry I’ll practice.
Mom hates the dog too. No one could love anything that stupid. In a one to ten stupid scale... The dog would be on the eleventh.
And that makes me more stupid cause I talk to the dog.
tragedically bored